


guilty or innocent, my love is infinite

by homosexualbyers



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/F, lots of internal panic, the train station scene but from jules' pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 22:31:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20317075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosexualbyers/pseuds/homosexualbyers
Summary: “Please… I love you.” She whispers, bringing up Rue’s hand to gently kiss her there. The crack in her voice fails her.-The train station scene from episode 8 except its from jules' point of view





	guilty or innocent, my love is infinite

The train began to shift as it geared up to leave, Jules held Rue’s hand tighter feeling her warmth turn into slippery sweat. Rue wouldn’t look her in the eye and her quivering bottom lip sank a deep cut into Jules’ heart. Her breath started to quicken, coming out in forms of sharp intakes of panicked breaths. Just like that the familiar ‘Somethings wrong with Rue and I don’t know what to do to fix it’ jitters washed over Jules. She tried her best to shove down her feelings, both of them becoming worked up wouldn’t do anything to help the situation. 

“Please… I love you.” She whispers, bringing up Rue’s hand to gently kiss her there. The crack in her voice fails her. 

Jules doesn’t want to let go,  _ can’t _ , not until Rue gets on this fucking train. She couldn’t bring herself to understand what had changed, this was a brilliant idea, the best idea they’d ever had. If Rue only knew what the city was like, how free it felt, the level it was on was a completely new ballpark compared to East Highland and Rue would never understand if she didn’t experience it for herself. 

When it comes down to it, the door closes and Jules has to let go of Rue’s hand. If she moved quick enough Jules could squeeze through the closing gap and be reunited with her on the other side but she can’t bring herself to move in time before there’s a small circular window between them and Jules can see Rue’s heart breaking on the platform and she can’t break through to stop it. 

Jules pushes herself up against the window and cranes her neck to watch Rue alone on the platform until she goes out of sight. She then slumps against the glass, pressing her forehead against it, watching the dim lights of the suburbs flitter past, looking past them to where she still sees Rue stood alone. 

Once the lights give away to the countryside she drifts away from the window and into the nearest seat within the carriage. She looked down at her shiny silver sneakers as tears gathered in her eyes. Everything had just started to make fucking sense, she knows now that she loves Rue more than anyone else in the world and because of her all this sexuality craziness in her head started to make sense, she liked girls and that was okay, she felt more valid than ever. And the beautiful thing, that Jules still couldn’t understand how she was that lucky, was that Rue liked her back,  _ loved  _ her and she wasn’t Nate Jacobs, Anna or some random guy in a motel somewhere, it was kind, beautiful, funny Rue who genuinely loved her and now all that was left was for them to escape their shitty town. And that made Jules almost feel complete. 

Now she was starting to feel like she may never be complete. Sure, she was on her way towards the city, she could feel her new life waiting for her on the other end of the tracks but without Rue it wasn’t going to be the same. Her NYC Studio apartment with the one person she trusted most in the world was slipping through her fingers. A single tear runs down her cheek and Jules furiously rubs it away.

She couldn’t let this throw her off. She was still doing this right? She could still live with Anna and TC and maybe see Rue on weekends right? She pushed her bag against the window and rested her head against it, slowly she exhales and closes her eyes. _Get over it, Jules, this is what you’ve always wanted and you’re well on your way. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked this!! i'd rlly like some kudos and comments if you feel like leaving them. 
> 
> this was my first time writing for euphoria and honestly I'm so happy to be writing for it cause jules is just such a special character to me. I'd love to write her/rules a lot more in the future so i'm open to suggestions! thank 
> 
> twitter- thebloodrobin


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